Read more after the jump.
The cans maybe fiction, but the fact that he probably had to rob Peter to Pay Paul to afford which is probably to date one of the lamest “diss†videos ever produced is just evidence of how far Mr. Burrell has fallen. Please, Hammer don’t hurt me. I’m just saying.
The video starts off with Hammer entering a room full of “executivesâ€, one whom has taken to wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head ( good job on looking official, Daughtry) , while Hammer, who looks to have borrowed a suit from Goodwill talks on what is probably a Boost Mobile phone and also dons a pair of sunglasses. The “director†of the video makes sure to pan in on the “BeatsAudio†which unless Dr. Dre produced this video, which I DOUBT highly by theway, has nothing to do with nothing.
So as abruptly as he enters the “meeting†, that got absolutely NOTHING accomplished, he leaves to go “take care of somethingâ€. And by the “something”, we mean Jay-Z.
And for the love of Jesus (no pun intended) Hammer proceeds to find the most manboobingst- white tee-yankee fitting wearing Jay-Z lookalike (by lookalike, we mean no resemblance whatsoever) he could find to…CHASE through the woods. If you did not laugh when “It’s the Fire†was whispered as the “devil†juked and jived after Mr. Carter through the forest of failure, you have no soul.
Again, how many rolls of coins did he have to take to Coinstar to pay the dancers? Then…my God, comedy gold. 2:40: The All White Everything. He didn’t borrow that. That came from his own personal collection. Hammer has style.
Wait. Did he BAPTIZE HIM? Because, we all know you’re completely qualified to baptize someone; with you being a preacher and all (as the crowd commences the coldest of all side-eyes).
So Hammer has the power to stop the devil, now? Sure. Bet he wish he had the power to stop the government from seizing his property.
You have no business in a studio, nor pulpit, and hip hop should serve you a restraining order. If you could just kindly remove yourself from the premises, we shall have no problems.
KING HAMMER!!! *drops the mic*