USA Today got their hands on Beyonce’s Life Is But A Dream (which premieres February 16th on HBO), and in it she speaks on her apparent miscarriage with Jay-Z (along with other things):

“She shares footage of her trip to Paris with her nephew. She talks about wanting to “make love” to her husband. She explains why she decided to share her pregnancy news so visibly at the MTV awards.

Most notably: She opens up about her miscarriage two years ago, saying that one week she heard a heartbeat – and the next, nothing. And she talks about how devastating the loss was to her and how she retreated to the studio to deal with it.

Most movingly, she addresses stories that she used a surrogate to carry daughter Blue Ivy, now 1.

“There’s a stupid rumor. The most ridiculous rumor I think I’ve ever had about me. It’s crazy. To think I would be that vain – I respect mothers and women so much and to be able to experience bringing a child into this world, if you’re lucky and fortunate enough to experience that, I would never, ever take that for granted. It’s the most powerful thing you can do. Especially after losing a child, the pain and trauma from that just makes it mean so much more to get an opportunity to bring life into the world. It seems like people should have boundaries,” says a visibly shaken Beyonce.”