rowland

You can check out more of the actual feature over at ESSENCE.

In the revealing interview, Rowland, 32, explains the meaning behind those much-discussed references to Bey on “Dirty Laundry,” the lead single from her fourth solo album Talk a Good Game. “For a long time I wasn’t happy, but that had nothing to do with Beyoncé,” Rowland says. “That had to do with me trying to get my life in order and make better decisions for myself. I’m seeing all these wonderful things happen for her and I am happy for her. But I want a path. I want things to pop off for me, too. Not on her level but whatever my level is supposed to be.”

Finding her strength — literally — has been key to blazing new trails, the X-Factor judge tells ESSENCE. Through workouts with trainer Jeanette Jenkins and sparring sessions with former boxer Martin Snow, she’s finding her power. “I see the beauty in boxing,” she says. “It teaches me strength, physically but mostly mentally. I had to learn my strength, because for so long I could have been tougher than I was.”

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